History Through Randomness by Killryde, literature
Literature
History Through Randomness
In the beginning, things started to happen...
An explosion of stuff and cheddar spread like a fourth grade teacher's legs across the Inverse, objects formed far and not so far, great masses of gas collected into the shape of balls, on these massive balls (lol) things began to quiver, wriggly slimey things moved about the seas like a camel's tongue in a bucket of oysters. The skies were soon covered in cotton, it began to rain substitute teachers, thier chalky residue smeared the land as wild untamed pensioners feasted upon thier salty remains, herds of wild Olsen twins galloped across the planes as Jerry Garcia wiped his shirt over the sky
The Art of Stupidity act.2 by Killryde, literature
Literature
The Art of Stupidity act.2
The Art of Stupidity: act 02: Sea Otters and Stolen Fridge Magnets
Gregory the Titmouse (lol) was gathering nutrients for the winters when a Owltard crashed to the ground, "oh deary me" he said "what a blunder i am" as he stood up only to fall onto his back again, "oh ha ha" he gleed "i am the clumsy one" then a badger ate him.
chud: who wants to play spin the wheel thingy?!
skank: i do!
chud: ok, spin the wheel!
skank: (spins it)
chud: yay you won!
skank: hooray!
kid: mummy i wanna cookie!
mum: no you didnt eat your beans
kid: screw your beans i wanna cookie!
mum: i said no cookie!
kid: cookie bitch!
mum: dont speak to your moth
The Art of Stupidity act.1 by Killryde, literature
Literature
The Art of Stupidity act.1
The Art of Stupidity: act 01: Would you like fries with that?
And now ladies and gentlemem, three ducks and a piano!
duck1: quack...(bangs on piano)
duck2: (takes a shit on the piano) .....quuuuack
duck3: this piano is quite entertaining
Spanky McNuggets was rolling down the street one day when he came across a soiled mattress, he got upon the filth slab and frolicked for many happy hours, after such delight Spanky McNuggets had drifted into slumber, he awoke many minutes later to find his precious dirt pillow had been overrun with hobos! "begone!" he said as he leaped up and took ahold of the dumpster and pushed it over, landing on top
Lamington the Munted Giraffe by Killryde, literature
Literature
Lamington the Munted Giraffe
Lamington the Munted Giraffe
One day Lamington was spazzing around eating trees when a car pulls up
Dad: hey kids its a giraffe!
Kids: yay!
Mum: its soo big! (with a cheeky smile)
Lamington: durr?
Lamington looks down at them, and licks the guy with his long giraffe tongue
Mum: ooo so long... (giggles while touching herself)
Dad: haha he likes me!
Kids: we wanna pet him!
the kids run up to Lamington, in cause spooking the stupid animal as he raises his neck up high then starts to stomping on the kids, squishing their little bodies into the dirt
Dad: oh noes!
Lamington then lifts his leg up and points at the guy
Lamington: shuuuuu
One morning in the pantry four micro pigs sleep in their wicker basket as the sun rises, Cpt.Ribbons wakes up then awakens the other
Cpt.Ribbons: wake up people! we have a business to conduct!
the others, Horsefly, Jenkins and Spatula wake up and stand at attention "sir, yes sir!"
Cpt.Ribbons: let us take flight!"
Horsefly: sir we cant fly
Jenkins: we cant fly sir
Spatula: SPATULA!!!
Cpt.Ribbons: fudge nuggets! well, ok, lets just go!
The Super Micro Pigs leap from their wicker basket landing on the cat, Tumbleweed
Tumbleweed: ooh! ooh! you little buggers!
Jenkins: RUNNNNN!!!!!
They skitter across the lino to escape from the clutc